Skip to main content

sometimes

I wish I were a better person. Sometimes I wonder what I have to do in order for me to find a way to love myself. I've been told that it is the only way that I'm ever going to change and come out of this mold that I'm stuck inside of. I'm trying harder than ever.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Artificially Intelligent

Looking back at things a previous version of yourself has written can say a lot about how a person develops. I have gone back and read some of my earlier posts on this blog and I am surprised at how much further I have moved forward in my life as a person. I feel that I can articulate myself much more efficiently and don't rely so much on cliche modes of speech or resorting to using obscenities to punctuate how I feel towards certain things. I have either deleted or reverted a lot of my posts back to drafts because at this point I can't read much of them and not cringe. I have done a lot of things with my life over the last fifteen years since I started this blog. I mainly meant to create it as a mental scrapbook, something I could look back on and maybe be a little proud of. I felt pretty much the exact opposite. I really came off as negative and focusing on things that while being important, I had little or no control over. I have come to realize that the world I live in can ...
Post a Comment
Read more

I made it

So I finished college, again. I went through almost everything that I thought I would and then some. It's been a few months and I really felt like I needed a break from everything for a while and now things are starting to settle down enough to the point that I can get back to spending a little time here and there updating this blog. I started this a long time ago just because I felt like putting my words down somewhere I could go back and look at it and feel like I can see the progress I've made. At the time when I started writing on this blog I was working at a job I hated and really felt like I was selling myself really short and I needed to get my engineering degree in order to see my full potential. That was almost ten years ago. Like everyone else, I ask myself, where did the time go? I wanted to go to school to become an aerospace engineer in order to make some part of me and the family that is still alive see me as someone that could compare to my grandfather. I k...
Post a Comment
Read more

final preparations

I have had the flu the last few weeks so I have been mainly working from home. I have some big things going on with my senior project in the next week so things will be pretty busy. In spite of this I have had a lot of time to sort through my thoughts and start getting ready to move out of where I'm living and have everything in place for when I'm done with my degree. As I've stated already, I'm really glad this is happening and it will bring a long, crazy chapter of my life to a close. I guess the one thing that surprises me the most is how I had to make such huge sacrifices and force myself to commit to something that I didn't even really think I could do. Now that it is almost over I look back and feel that sometimes it really wasn't that bad. Could I do it over again? I'm not really sure. If I knew what I know now, I probably could have done it a lot quicker and easier but there was no way for me to really know what I was in for. I didn't know I wo...
Post a Comment
Read more