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sporadic life update

This blog is something that I wish I would start to update more, when it comes to doing anything that requires my brain to operate at capacity I usually try to use that energy to get some schoolwork done. Summer is over, fall is in full swing, and pretty soon it will be pretty damn cold outside. I have always liked the changing of summer to fall, even though I am in love with summertime and hate when it is over.

Things have been up in the air in a lot of places, but I have been trying hard to keep a positive outlook lately. I now know that I cannot bear the weight of the world on my shoulders alone, and that I have to focus on things that make me happy and not let how shitty things can be make me feel horrible anymore. I have cut back even more on drinking, which really makes me feel really good. I can actually function completely normally at this point when I'm stoned, which is the only thing really that calms me enough to think clearly when I am upset. This also helps me relax when I have spent all night in the gym, I've been working out a lot more, and adding Muay Thai to my schedule makes me even more tired but in a good way.

I know that I am going to be in school for a lot longer than expected, which does not worry me at all but I am finding I am quickly digging a deep financial hole. This is really my only worry or concern at this point. I am making good grades so I'm hoping that at some point I will be able to find some money to help pay for my expenses. I'm trying to also teach myself not to worry so much. It just pulls me away from focusing on what I need to.

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